"You can always try again."
"At least you know you can get pregnant."
"Stay positive. There's no way that will happen agian."
Sound familiar?
You’ve heard platitudes thrown at you by professional and well-meaning loved ones in your life in an effort to calm you down, reassure you, make you feel better.
But all they do is make you feel oversensitive and horribly alone.
Now, you're getting ready to think about trying to conceive again and you're terrified.
>> Of reaching out to your fertility clinic and getting the process started again.
>> Of making a decision for when you'll officially start trying again
>> Of seeing that positive pregnancy test.
>> Of being pregnant.
>> Of the past (or worse) repeating itself.
But your heart yearns for another child, so you tell yourself to "get it together" and "calm your fear".
Yet nothing you've tried has worked to actually help you feel calm.
(And you've tried doing a lot of things!)
So you wondering how it's ever going to be possible to feel ready to try again.
...But then you feel guilty for holding up the timeline while your partner waits patiently for you to tell them you're on board.
...Which then makes you feel so.much.pressure. that you're doing something wrong. That you're broken for not being able to get over your fear. That you're a horrible partner and mom.
All of which sends you back into the dark hole of doom.
WHAT IF...
What if you fully and completely believed that your fear is not the problem?
What if you had scientific proof (not just a social media cheerleader-y meme) to show you that you are not broken?
What if you could experience some peace even before you're pregnant without doing anything to your thoughts or breathing deeply?
Introducing Fear Less Pregnancy
a workshop to teach you how to feel less fear and have more peace and confidence as you prepare for pregnancy after loss or preterm birth.
I know you've tried everything you can think of (and more) to try to prepare yourself for your next pregnancy.
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From reading blogs about pregnancy after second trimester loss...to following social media accounts about pregnancy after stillbirth
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From saving research articles about the chances of recurrent pregnancy complications to asking questions on forums about experiences not reflected in the research.
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From psychotherapy, yoga, and Ambien, to Netflix binges of Schitt's Creek and Ozark to get your mind off of what happened and what lies ahead.
So why does it feel like the fear is just getting heavier and heavier as you get closer to trying to conceive?
Here's why:
You've been given physiologically inaccurate information about what fear is and is not. Most information that is shared by medical providers, mental health providers, and pop culture is actually outdated and inaccurate! (Ever heard to take a deep breath, relax, or focus on the positive? Ya, that.)
You've only been given cookie cutter advice that works for "most" people without taking into consideration that you are an individual. And without any acknowledgement of what state of fear you're actually in. (Yes, there are different states, and each state requires very different approaches to help you come out of fear!)
This is why I’m bringing you Fear Less Pregnancy.
The more you understand what's happening in your body now and how it was impacted (and continues to be impacted) by what you have been through, you will see how possible it is to feel less fear as you prepare to try to conceive again.
You'll understand why it actually has nothing to do with managing or overcoming your fear at all, and how your body is actually a treasure trove of hope for how you experience your pregnancy after late term loss or prematurity.
WHY NOW AND NOT LATER?
Your body is an amazing force of nature.
It kept you alive and safe during your previous pregnancy/birth experience.
Now, through your fear, it's reminding you that you're about to go back into the bear's den. And it will tell you this louder and louder and louder....
...Until you listen to it, nurture it, and remind it of what it feels like to be safe.
A Fear-Less pregnancy doesn’t start at the moment of conception.
It starts when you decide that a Fear-Less pregnancy is part of your future.
You deserve peace
By being in community with others who are also feeling scared of being pregnant after 2nd/3rd trimester loss or preterm delivery, and learning all of the signs that show your body is not broken, can be a deeply powerful and healing experience.
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You deserve to have the family your heart is telling you have.
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You deserve to understand how to take a neurobiological approach to your next pregnancy to reduce your risk of complications.
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You deserve to have a safe space that acknowledges your fear so you can build a care team you can trust.
You deserve all of this.
(Read that again, because I want you to realize how true that is.)
Look, you have impeccable instincts. You knew when something went wrong last time. The fact that you were waved off says nothing about your ability to know your body, and everything to say about how much they didn't trust you.
I know that this adds to the fear that you're feeling. You're not just afraid of the past complications happening again, but also not being taken seriously again.
And what if that results in even worse outcomes for your baby or you?
I hear you. I see you. You're not crazy for worrying about that.
And I also know that somewhere deep down, your instinct is telling you that there is something you can do to have a different outcome next time.
You absolutely can. Here's your permission to trust that instinct, too.
It's your time to move forward in confidence.
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Have experienced second or third trimester loss or preterm delivery in a previous pregnancy…
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Have been diagnosed with chronic pain or chronic illness since then
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Feel scared or anxious about going through another pregnancy
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Have tried everything you can think of to not be scared without long term relief
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Refuse to take this fear with your next pregnancy
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Know it's possible to feel calmer and more confident about your next pregnancy (even if you don't know how yet)
… And you know, without a doubt, a growing family is in your future.
Join me to discover:
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What fear is (and what it is not)
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The different states of fear (yes there are multiple!)
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How to determine which fear state you are in (because where you are determines what you do to calm yourself down)
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How the different fear states affect present health & future pregnancy outcomes
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What you need to do starting today to feel less fear about your next pregnancy
You can feel calmer and more confident about your next pregnancy. Let me show you how.
I’m a leading integrative high-risk pregnancy specialist, somatic trauma professional, health strategist, speaker and author. And my passion is to guide women through safe pregnancies after second or third trimester loss or preterm delivery.
There are canyons in pregnancy education. The typical conversations and recommended books have little to no information about high-risk pregnancies. Why? It’s a difficult topic and difficult topics are glossed over.
But I (and you) understand that difficult topics are made more complex and overwhelming when we don’t understand them.
I’m ready to open the door to these conversations and give your experiences a voice. You don’t have to be brushed to the side. You can stand up and advocate for a healthy pregnancy.
You just need a trusted source to give you scientifically based information the medical system isn’t handing over openly.
Here's what I know for sure...
Your body isn’t broken.
You aren't broken.
There is hope and that hope resides in your body, not in a pill, an app, or someone else's magic solution.
You have so much more power than you realize to feel less fear, more peace, and influence the health of your future pregnancy.
HOW A BODY BASED APPROACH TO FEAR HAVE HELPED OTHERS
SHARON
I was living with autoimmune disorders, weight gain, anxious moods, and ongoing medical challenges for children, I noticed improved ability to manage anxious moods, significantly decreased periods of anxious moods, increased awareness of body and surroundings. I had no idea how within reach it was to feel more like myself than I have in years.
By working with Parijat I learned to manage my IBS and anxiety. I realized that I'm stronger than I thought and I learned how to handle my diagnosis better over time. I never thought I could feel as good as I did after working with her. I like Parijat's practical and hands on approach. She gives you things that you can actually do.
Before I met Parijat, my pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and I became very depressed. Parijat showed me how to go at my own pace and helped me gain my sanity and sense of safety back. I grew so much during such a short amount of time and I will be forever grateful for Parijat.
ALLISON
LYDIA
Now it's your turn
The key to a future healthy pregnancy isn’t
to “relax” or “calm down”
The key is to figure out understand what fear state you're in, and how to bring yourself out of it into safety.
Not based on a cookie cutter approach that "should" work for everyone. But based on what your body needs right now.
Participating in Fear-Less Pregnancy means taking a step in learning from a trusted source and discovering what your body is telling you.
It means no longer throwing spaghetti at the wall, wondering why nothing is helping, and finally taking the steps that your body needs to help you feel less fear and more peace.
It means letting go of the weight that you’ve been carrying and moving forward in a way that makes sense to your body.
So you can experience your next pregnancy with less fear, more confidence, and with peace.
© Parijat Deshpande, LLC, All Rights Reserved