When we provoke an animal and corner it until it cannot move, what do we expect it will do?
It will attack, right? And we think, "Well of course it did that. It was scared and sensed danger."
Then why do pathologize this when humans do it?⠀
⠀ I hear from so many women who have found themselves so angry (or raging) on their family-building journey and feeling awful about how often they snap.
You don't have an anger management problem
Your reaction of yelling, screaming, raging, is a sign you've been provoked and cornered too much for too long and your system is overloaded.⠀
One woman shared with me recently that she's ashamed of admitting that she has bursts of rage. I get it.
It's not something we like to admit and certainly not something we talk nearly enough about.
However, I'd love to help you reframe this for you: ⠀ Rage is not a disorder.
Anger is not a problem.
It is a survival mechanism.⠀ ⠀ Just like an animal who feels threatened, so do you.
Your brain has identified some type of threat on your family-building journey and since then, you've been in survival mode. Without feeling safe.
I see this very frequently with my private clients and Healing Hearts members who have had a long, hard, dark, scary family-building journey, whether it's loss(es), pregnancy complications, preterm delivery, postpartum complications, children with medical complications, NICU/PICU stays, etc.
How can we expect anything else but anger and rage when we feel provoked even by the most mundane of details in our lives? ⠀ A child that asks for a cracker when she's trying to cook dinner. A partner who asks for intimacy on a Thursday night. The phone ringing while she's trying to clean the house. One more friend asking for a favor.⠀
She loses it. And then feels like the worst person in the world.⠀ ⠀ So if that sounds like you, let me tell you this:
You don't have an anger problem.
You're not a terrible mother or partner or human being.
You aren't a monster.
This is trauma.⠀
This is what we will diffuse for you in Healing Hearts, not through anger management techniques, but techniques to help you feel safe again. In your body. In your world.
Because with safety, there is no rage.
We have seen amazing results with our members in a few short weeks. Rage episodes that used to happen multiple times a day have dropped to once ever few weeks...if that!
Sharon from Healing Hearts shared this:
Before joining Healing Hearts, I could barely get out of bed every morning, it just felt too hard and overwhelming, the days felt unending. I struggled with feeling depresed, overwhelmed and had episodes of rage frequently that terrified me. This program has given me my life back, has given me the tools to manage what before felt so overwhelming and never ending.
Join us in Healing Hearts today and let's help you feel safe so the moments of rage lessen and disappear.
Click here to join a global community of women who have taken back their health and healing. We are here for you. It is time.