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Why Making Decisions About Trying to Conceive After Loss or Trauma is So Hard


I recorded a podcast interview recently (episode to be published) where I shared with the host why I like to talk about trauma & traumatic loss from a body-based perspective.

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Not only does it highlight that trauma is not "in your head", but taking a somatic approach to trauma healing also shows you how your body is functioning exactly as it should.

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If you've spent weeks or months running from a bear, your brain has 1 job only: to keep you safe & alive. Living with unresolved trauma is exactly that.


So when it comes time to making decisions about TTC after loss or TTC after preemie, those choices are being filtered through the lens of "Will this keep me safe?"

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The problem is, the "bear" was the pregnancy last time, so your brain is going to send out alerts & alarms telling you TTC is a bad idea. "Remember what happened last time?" it's going to say through your body.

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Yet your heart desires a baby (and maybe you're even on a timeline) so you go forward with your next cycle. But you can feel the pull of the fear, the overwhelm of decision-making, the incessant "what ifs" that make you doubt if you're doing the right thing.


It's not you. You're not doing anything wrong and you're not destined to feel this way the entire time.




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Your brain is prioritizing your safety instead of your heart's desires, because it physiologically cannot do anything but that. Not while you're living in survival mode.

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Resolve the trauma, learn to feel safe in your body again, & that filter changes completely.


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