“I don’t think anyone can get over that loss.”
I read that the other day & it got me thinking. Where does this idea of “getting over” a loss even come from? Why is “getting over” it even the goal? What does “getting over” it even mean?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There are 2 misconceptions at play under this expectation. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
that at some point your pregnancy or infant loss should not make you sad
that if you’re sad, you must also be in pain
Neither of these are true.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The goal of healing from a loss is NOT to never feel sad again. The goal is also not to learn how to tolerate & cope with the pain forever. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The goal is to separate the sadness (grief) from the pain (trauma). Heal the pain & allow the sadness.