When it's easy to have your first child, it's a pretty safe assumption that having subsequent children will be easy too. You start planning out how to space them apart, when to start trying and believe everything will go according to plan, just like it did the first time. When that isn't the case, and it takes much longer to have the second (or third or fourth)...or you have to rely on fertility treatment to continue building your family, it's heartbreaking and life-shattering. On this episode, Sarah Argenal and delve into the realities of secondary infertility, what it means and how to cope when having more children ends up being so much harder than you originally thought it would.
Sarah shares her story of having her "honeymoon baby" and how easy it was to conceive and carry him
She describes how different her experience was when she was ready to conceive her second child
Sarah talks about the experience of having to take on the label and diagnosis of "infertility and what that meant to her and why she resisted it
How this Type-A, organized, highly successful person became obsessed with all things fertility and how it manifested into tremendous stress in her lief and her health
How she and her husband coped differently with infertility and how that impacted their relationship
One of the hardest parts of experiencing secondary infertility was how alone she felt
Sarah shares the one aspect of secondary infertility that broke her heart the most, the one that still brings tears to her eyes to this day
How Sarah coped with guilt and feeling out of control (and what she recommends women not do)
She shares the lowest point of her secondary infertility journey and how she had to come to terms with possibly never having another child
The surprise realization Sarah had about infertility: how hard it was to cope with the stressors and uncertainty
She shares some of the most unhelpful messages she heard when she was struggling to get pregnant
The physical and mental impact of secondary infertility surprised her
The biggest thing Sarah took for granted before trying for baby #2 and how that led to one of her biggest realizations about her body
She realized that she was giving away too much energy to others and how she was able to take it back to help her body feel strong again
Her initial reactions on trying fertility treatments versus her husband's reaction and how they navigated differing opinions
Sarah shares her experiences with multiple rounds of IUI, failed cycles and how it impacted her physically, emotionally and mentally
The difficult questions she had to sit down and ask herself as she went through rounds of fertility treatment and how she coped
The reality of finally getting pregnant (HINT: it wasn't pure joy)
Why Sarah believes not talking about secondary infertility is affecting couples who are experiencing it
Sarah's 3 life lessons she took away from secondary infertility that she wants all couples to know
Resources from the show...
Connect with Sarah as she helps working parents thrive (Learn more)
Get your copy of Pregnancy Brain: A Mind-Body Approach to Stress Management During a High-Risk Pregnancy (Read Now)
Personalized mind-body support with Parijat for stress management during infertility (Apply now)
About the Guest
Sarah Argenal is the Founder and CEO of the Working Parent Resource and Host of the Working Parent Resource Podcast. Sarah consults with burned out working parents to help them optimize their time, improve their relationships and escape survival mode for good. She has her Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy and Adult Development and is a Certified Professional Coach with 20 years of experience in psychotherapy, coaching, college-level instruction, program development, and project management. Sarah lives with her husband and two little boys in San Diego, California. You can find out more about the Working Parent Resource and everything Sarah offers by visiting http://workingparentresource.com.
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