#FertilityTrauma

The Power Of Silence

For many, being part of conversations about infertility, loss and miscarriage , high risk pregnancy, preterm delivery, life in the NICU, or parenting a child with medical needs can be uncomfortable. It's hard to hear about our favorite people struggling to grow their family. It's heartbreaking to hear about an innocent child's life threatened or gone too soon. So, we fill our discomfort with words. Advice, encouragement or stories we think will help. Sometimes they do. But mo

129: Listener Q and A

I love to hear from you! I love to address your questions and concerns with Listener Q & A episodes, like today’s show. Join us as we cover several topics that are relevant to birth trauma, preemie development, postpartum depression, and the work of healing. In this episode... Dealing with the uncertainty of the development of a preemie when you aren’t sure what to expect [2:24] Experiencing postpartum depression with stillbirth, miscarriage, or ectopic pregnancy [15:48] Gett

128: Healing After Pregnancy & Infant Loss

There are many nuances to grief. The loss of a child is extremely painful grief, but you have to trust that your body knows how to heal itself. It’s important that you reach out for support when you need professional guidance. Let’s jump into this difficult topic together. In this episode... #1 We don’t speak accurately enough about the experience of pregnancy loss and saying goodbye to a life lost too soon. [9:28] #2 Grief hurts and feels awful. [11:00] #3 Our body has a bui

127: When You Feel Lost After Having a Baby in the NICU

One of the most interesting aspects of my work in working with a wide variety of people is that every experience is so different, even if they share the same starting point. Having a baby in the NICU is a different type of trauma that shifts what you understand to be normal. It shifts everything you know to be normal and everything you expect to encounter in the way you enter parenthood. The good news is that you CAN find yourself again and return to “normal”! Let’s talk abou

Fertility Challenges: Who's To Blame?

When we're experiencing fertility challenges - whether they were known or unexpected - it's easy to point our finger to ourselves and say, "It's me." "It's my fault." "I'm broken." But you and I know that's not true. You're not experiencing infertility because you're too negative, you're broken, you're unlucky, you were a terrible person in your past life, because you ate too many fries in your 20s, because you waited too long, because you don't deserve to be a mother, becaus

126: How to Prepare for Pregnancy after Preemie

September is NICU Awareness Month. If you aren’t familiar with what NICU stands for, it’s where sick or pre-term babies go for specialized care until they are well enough to (hopefully) go home. One of the most common questions I get from parents is about facing another pregnancy after going through a NICU experience. Just the thought of a repeat situation is terrifying for a parent. Today’s show dives into four important steps to take before trying to conceive again after a

125: The Truth About Fertility Trauma When You're Trying to Conceive

Fertility trauma is happening all around us. It’s a huge part of the journey when you’re trying to conceive. Today’s show discusses why we have to address this issue and why trauma resolution should be part of fertility treatment for everyone. Listen on iTunes | Listen on Stitcher | Listen on iHeartRadio Episode highlights... What is fertility trauma? Why trauma is NOT always based on a single event Examples of when and how fertility trauma may occur Why fertility t

This is Trauma: Micromanaging & Difficulty Trusting Others to Do What You Could Do

Being on top of your healthcare is tremendously important. I work with my private clients closely on how to prepare for appointments, track traveling embryos, and make sure all people are on the same page with regards to your care (and your child's medical care). It's crucial to be vigilant with childcare and to hire the right people you trust, to help you at home or at work. Control is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a good thing and I did an entire podcast episode on why

This is Trauma: When You Feel Down and Like You Live in a Fog

This is a surprising one for a lot of people. Most of the time, when we think of trauma, we think hyperarousal, overwhelm, amped-upness. And for many it is. But for many it it is not. For many, after birth trauma, pregnancy trauma or fertility trauma, the system shuts down and stays down. To be honest, it's harder to notice because so much of this flies under the radar of women, their loved ones and even theri care providers! When your trauma reaction is to go low, blood pr

This is Trauma: When Mourning Your Loss(es) Brings No Relief

Let's start with this truth: we tend to overpathologize grief. Our culture, our community and health professionals, we all do it. We want it to get better, we want to be "over it" and we want it to stop hurting. But the truth is, grief hurts. It sucks. It feels awful. That's how it is designed to be. The pain of grief is not the problem. When grief becomes stuck Grief is meant to be like a flowing ocean, waves crashing over us that become smaller and less intense with each on

This is Trauma: Feeling Broken and Ashamed of Your Body on the Family-Building Journey

Almost every client I work with comes to me with this underlying feeling of brokenness. Whether they have experienced (or are currently experiencing) infertility, a high-risk pregnancy, preterm delivery, or time in the NICU, it's the backdrop against which most of my clients live their lives when they reach out to work with me. I remember one client, who was experiencing multiple pregnancy complications at the time, lamented to me, "Who else is there to blame? I'm the one c

This Is Trauma: When You Need to Stay Busy & Slowing Down Feels Impossible

I once worked with a client after her micropreemie came home from the NICU. Her OBGYN referred her to me thinking she had postpartum anxiety. My client could not slow down. She would run from taking care of baby, to pumping, to washing dishes, to laundry, to cooking, to replying to emails, convinced this is just new mom life. Busy. Crazy. Nonstop. Her OB & husband were concerned so she tried mindfulness exercises, deep breathing or yoga. But every time she felt panicky & sc

072: The Hidden Truth About Secondary Infertility With Sarah Argenal

When it's easy to have your first child, it's a pretty safe assumption that having subsequent children will be easy too. You start planning out how to space them apart, when to start trying and believe everything will go according to plan, just like it did the first time. When that isn't the case, and it takes much longer to have the second (or third or fourth)...or you have to rely on fertility treatment to continue building your family, it's heartbreaking and life-shatterin