This is a surprising one for a lot of people. Most of the time, when we think of trauma, we think hyperarousal, overwhelm, amped-upness. And for many it is. But for many it it is not. For many, after birth trauma, pregnancy trauma or fertility trauma, the system shuts down and stays down. To be honest, it's harder to notice because so much of this flies under the radar of women, their loved ones and even theri care providers!
When your trauma reaction is to go low, blood pressure also drops. Respiratory rates are lower. You don't feel or seem frantic and unless you've fainted, it's easy to think everything's fine.
The red flags to pay attention to But everything is not fine, because this is just another way of our body responding to feeling like our life is in danger - like we're still being chased by a bear. Instead of being in fight or flight mode, our body is in "shut down" mode as a way to keep us alive so we can fight or flee again soon. In this response, our body believes that in keeping us still, quiet, frozen, we can stay alive.
Our brains still sense danger.
This shows up as disconnectedness, the feeling like you're floating through your day like you're in a fog. Some of my clients describe it as having trouble remembering words or names easily, or feeling down or numb.
It's these signs that often tips people off that something's off.
In fact, it sounds a lot like postpartum depression right? Most clients I work with who resonate with this are diagnosed by their OBGYN or therapist with postpartum depression. However, they haven't responded to therapy or medication, months or years after their delivery.
If that sounds like you, it's not because you're broken, or weak, or incurable or stuck feeling like this forever. This is happenign because what you're experiencing is likely not depression at all but unresolved trauma.
What to do next
By teaching you how to re-regulate your nervous system so your brain no longer perceives threat, you're able to restore balance between being watchful and at peace. You can experience all of this without having to dredge up painful memories, too!
Mood improves. The fog lifts. You start to feel true joy again. You start to feel alive again.
The work is powerful. It's empowering. And I can't wait to tell you more. Healing Hearts is now open! I can't wait for you to join us. You're not being negative or ungrateful. There is nothing wrong with your thoughts. You're not crazy. This is trauma and there is hope.