I once worked with a client after her micropreemie came home from the NICU. Her OBGYN referred her to me thinking she had postpartum anxiety. My client could not slow down. She would run from taking care of baby, to pumping, to washing dishes, to laundry, to cooking, to replying to emails, convinced this is just new mom life. Busy. Crazy. Nonstop.
Her OB & husband were concerned so she she tried mindfulness exercises, deep breathing or yoga. But every time she felt panicky & scared.
When slowing down feels scary or impossible Having trouble slowing down, feeling like you need to fill all your time with to do's even when you're exhausted is not a choice, but a compulsion. Not because there's anything wrong with you and not because it's anxiety.
This is trauma. This is your body so amped up after fertility trauma , pregnancy trauma or birth trauma that your arousal system is stuck in the ON position.
Using brute force to try & slow down (by forcing yourself to breathe or take a nap) only perpetuates the feeling of being unsafe. To put it differently, your body thinks it's being chased by a bear (hence the activation of the arousal system). So when you stop to meditate, the alarms only ring louder because GET UP YOU'RE BEING CHASED BY A BEAR!!
This is why, before trying to slow down, you HAVE to learn to feel safe again. You have to learn to feel safe in your body and in your surroundings, thereby turning off that arousal system and finding relief. Only then, can tools like meditation, mindfulness or deep breathing truly be effective.
Don't wait anymore! Join us now.
I will teach you how to do this in the Healing Hearts program. By clicking on the link you'll also get access to the free webinar which discusses more in detail how grief and trauma get stuck, why your efforts to release them aren't working and how you joining the Healing Hearts program will bring you the relief you've been craving. Check it out!
What if I just like to be busy? I get it. I used to love to be busy too. Totally full social and work calendar, bouncing from activity to activity, project to project, dinner party to social event.
Here's how you know the difference: If being busy was truly and genuinely a source of joy for you, it won't feel like like a compulsion to stay busy. Slowing down, stopping, putting your feet up, taking a break wouldn't feel impossible, like you can't or shouldn't. You're able to stop without the urge and itch to keep moving.
Secondly, being busy, when it's truly coming from a place of joy and something you love will not exhaust you. At the end of a big day, you may be tired, but you'll be energized. Not zapped for energy, exhausted, and running on fumes.
Your next steps
It's easy to feel like something's wrong with you when everyone around you is judging you for not taking care of yourself, always pushing forward. But you're not crazy. And this is not a choice. This is trauma.
If you're done trying to conceive and are ready to slow down and enjoy the life you've fought so hard to create, join us in the Healing Hearts program and learn how to feel safe in the moments of calm and quiet.
You can do this!