When it comes to making decisions about your life, family, and children, the only sure thing is to follow your gut and trust your instincts. Many times the path you envision looks nothing like the journey that reality will bring. No one else--not even your doctor--can decide what’s right for you. Today’s show is my personal story of finding and holding to that very last ray of hope, even when I thought all hope was gone.
How we researched and learned about the surrogacy process, found an agency, and were matched with a gestational carrier--which was weird on SO many levels
The first cycle failed, but we remained optimistic and attempted the second cycle, which resulted in a very early miscarriage
The devastation we felt and why we pushed the doctor to test our remaining six embryos
Through the difficult and risky process of thawing, biopsying, testing, and refreezing the viable embryos, three did not survive and only one was chromosomally normal (From nine embryos just one year ago, we were now down to ONLY ONE!)
Success, a positive pregnancy test, and another early miscarriage--With this result, we lost our dreams of our future family
How we attempted to soothe our hurt with Band-Aids on the oozing wound of all the hopes, dreams, and opportunities for our family
How I became angry and resentful at not having a choice to end our infertility journey
Renewed hope and a new plan for egg retrieval and one last try
My depression that lasted several months, along with anger, resentment, grief, and confusion
Additional tests done on the embryo and the conversations we had about all the “what if’s”
The discussions we had about moving forward with our lives with only one child
Releasing the grief, imagining, and planning our future with just our son
The range of feelings, the need for acceptance, and finding peace in the midst of heartbreak and hopelessness
You never know what your path to having a family will be, and for many dealing with infertility, it may end with surrogacy. Surrogacy may seem like an easy option from the outside, but on the inside it's a whole different roller coaster of emotions. You may decide that surrogacy is the right option for you.
Resources from the show...
Overcoming the Power of Fear (Listen now)
Shedding Expectations (Listen now)
Demystifying Surrogacy - interview with a former gestational carrier and owner of Family Inceptions (Listen Now)
The impact of Age and Health on Fertility (Listen now)
Get your copy of Pregnancy Brain: A Mind-Body Approach to Stress Management During a High-Risk Pregnancy (Read Now)
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