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When Fertility, Pregnancy or Birth Trauma is Misidentified

this is trauma

There is a very different relationship and bond between a woman and the baby she's carrying or a parent and the child they're caring for than any other relationship in this world. This applies to the love we have but also the fear we feel when lives are in danger. Why would we sleep well if we received a diagnosis that is threatening our baby's life? Why wouldn't we lash out at those closest to us when we feel scared that we might lose our baby? Why wouldn't we feel so anxious that we border on panic, even when an ultrasound result comes back reassuring about our shortening cervix or blood flow to the baby? Why wouldn't we be hypervigilant when our baby is in the NICU?

Within the context, these experiences make perfect sense I'm not saying you should continue to feel this way for the rest of the pregnancy or life! I'm saying, we have to remember the context. If life is threatened, your anxiety, fears, worries are not necessarily mental health issues. They're a natural reaction to wanting to protect your baby. The solution is not to calm your mind, dampen the anger or be more positive. The goal has to be to restore safety in your body. For as long as you feel safe, any other tool, strategy or treatment you are given is just a bandaid for the moment. Are these tools completely useless? Nope! They're very effective at the right time, in the right situation. When you have an overactive system when you don't feel safe, the only goal must be to restore safety. From there, the rest of the work can begin.

this is trauma


This post is for educational purposes only. Do not stop medical or psychiatric treatment without speaking with your treating physician, mental health practitioner or psychiatrist first.

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