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Pregnant After Loss: How to Enjoy It With Less Anxiety and More Hope

Today I want to share with you the story of "Cassandra", a woman I worked with a little while back. (To protect my true client's identity I've changed her name and identifying details about her in the story below.)

Cassandra was a 32 year old woman when she got her first positive pregnancy test. She had been told that after 30 it may take her a few times to get pregnant but after her first try, she saw the words clearly on her digital test: PREGNANT. She was elated, as was her husband who was also shocked that it worked so fast!

Other than some morning sickness during the first trimester, Cassandra had a textbook pregnancy. She gained just enough weight, so her doctor was happy and she felt comfortable. She was active, happy and as she rounded out the second trimester, she started going into nesting overdrive, resulting in the nursery of her dreams.

She delivered a beautiful baby girl at 39 weeks and 1 day and was completely enamored.

They didn't think twice about what to expect going forward

Right around her daughter's second birthday she and her husband started talking about trying again. They were both on the same page - having about three years between the two children would be perfect. Given her history with her daughter's pregnancy, neither she nor her husband thought twice about what to expect going forward.

Again, this time, she got pregnant quickly. Unlike last time, when she didn't tell anyone about the positive pregnancy test until after 12 weeks, this time, she excitedly texted and called her closest girlfriends. She began imagining this little baby coming into their family. She started to make plans in her head about how to rearrange the house to make room for another nursery and how to start preparing her sweet girl for the arrival of what she was sure was a baby brother.

Her world came crashing down

At 8 weeks she went in for an ultrasound at her OB's office and her world came crashing down. No heartbeat. She remembered feeling like someone had physically stabbed her in the heart. She heard a sound like of an animal that had been hurt but didn't realize it was coming from her. Her heart shattered and she felt like she could barely stand up.

Over time, she healed physically and far more slowly she felt like she began healing emotionally.

A happy surprise isn't so happy

Six months later, she was surprised by yet another positive pregnancy test! But this time, instead of excitement, she felt pier