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135: Parenting After Loss: How to Honor Your Grief While Caring For Your Living Children

Parenting after loss is a topic that comes up frequently in the Delivering Miracles community. People ask what they should do and how they should go on loving the child they have while still feeling the previous loss. This unique kind of grief presents a conundrum in how to handle the intricacies of parenting, and societal pressure certainly plays into how we THINK we should feel. There is most definitely not just ONE right way to navigate this grief into your role as a parent, but there are principles to follow to get through the basics of grief and loss. Let’s talk about it.

In this episode...

  • Talking about loss brings up many issues around grief, which is a topic that our society doesn’t know how to approach [1:23]

  • Are you STUCK in grief if you find it difficult to move on? [4:28]

  • Your grief doesn’t disappear with another pregnancy or another baby [8:16]

  • If you don’t release the grief, it sits in the body and freezes your nervous system [10:09]

  • When you are parenting through grief, it is the time to call on your support group for help [20:33]

  • Allow your body to do what it needs to do to feel the grief and then release it [25:50]

  • Know your grief triggers and avoid them until you know you can allow the waves of grief to complete [27:54

  • ]Your grief experience is a great learning opportunity for your children to develop emotional intelligence and empathy (Don’t shield them from grief!) [30:13]

  • There is no ONE right way to honor your lost baby, but you must address the underlying fear and do what brings you a sense of peace [33:09]

  • Your grief can teach your children about the nuances of life; it’s YOUR choice how to let them experience grief [40:32]

  • You don’t have to figure it all out right now, but you have to lead with what brings you peace, so just start there [43:59]

  • When you’ve experienced a loss and have anxiety about losing your living children, this is trauma encoded in your body [45:33]

  • The key is to thaw your nervous system and let the waves of grief come--then you’ll find peace [47:14]

  • When we do the healing work, we heal the whole family, so make your healing a priority [50:21]

  • You WILL heal, which means remembering those babies without pain and with choice [51:54]

We tend to shield our children from all grief and pain, but they are resilient and can tolerate big feelings when we model for them.

Resources from the show:

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